All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values
What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.
Always hear the 'Yes' in the 'No'.
We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
What will they think of me? Must be put aside for bliss
Never do anything that isn't play.
Marshall Rosenberg has a genius for developing and teaching practical skills urgently needed for a less violent, more caring world.
Nonviolent Communication is a powerful tool for peace and partnership. It shows us how to listen empathically and also communicate our authentic feelings and needs. Marshall Rosenberg has a genius for developing and teaching practical skills urgently needed for a less violent, more caring world.
In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Don't do anything that isn't play
The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack. It is a language of demands.
Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.
Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.
When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
Let’s shine the light of consciousness on places where we can hope to find what we are seeking.
At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.
What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.
or simply:
