You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
He had fallen out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.
The grand irony, however, is that Southern segregation was not brought to an end, nor redneck violence dramatically reduced, by violence.
or simply:
