My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.
I've now been in 57 states. I think one left to go.
Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.
The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.
The number one job facing the middle class. And it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: Jobs. J-O-B-S.
Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?
I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.
If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.
African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.
A zebra does not change its spots.
I love these members, they get up and say, 'Read the bill ... What good is reading the bill if it's a thousand pages and you don't have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?'
n case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died - an entire town destroyed.
Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers.
Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.
Ten thousand people died, an entire town destroyed.
I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
or simply:
