I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
The thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'
The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.
or simply: