Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
There are two things a Highlander likes naked, and the other one is Malt Whisky
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Whisky is liquid sunshine.
The light music of whiskey falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.