A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.
Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.
According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.
POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.
CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: