Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
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