Conformity makes everything easier, if you can still breathe.
As night falls, every joy glows brighter.
Worry is not thought; complaining is not action.
Most of us live in a world that has ceased to exist.
Young men preen. Old men scheme.
If I can't serve as a role model, let me serve as a warning.
I tried good taste, but the strain was too much for me.
Radical historians now the tell the story of Thanksgiving from the point of view of the turkey.
Regret leads to overeating and naps.
Without a little negligence, life would be intolerable.
In love as in art, good technique helps.
Few things are worth doing perfectly.
Anyone who feels like a fool has made a good beginning.
Existence is not a mystery unless you think it has a meaning.
Gossip is dying out because fewer and fewer people care to talk about anything besides themselves.
Losing gracefully is commended but never chosen.
Self-realization is a comedown from salvation, but still gives us something to hope for.
Aphorisms are not true or false, but pointed or flat.
Finding a thought for an aphorism is not hard. Putting a kink in its tail is the hard part.
Aphorisms have never seduced anybody, but they have fooled some into considering themselves worldly-wise.
If I want my time wasted, I'll waste it myself.
Health foods make promises that only the Second Coming could fulfill.
As I review my life, I feel I must have missed the point, either then or now.
A sure cure for boredom: fast until you are ravenous.
One eventually has enough even of oneself.
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