We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.
There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
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