Monty Quotes

• You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

  Graham Chapman

  Country, People, Today

  "Monty Python's Flying Circus". TV Series, 1969 - 1974.

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• Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.

  Graham Chapman

  Kilimanjaro, Tricky, Climbs

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• Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

  Graham Chapman

  Peace, Holy Grail, Spanish Inquisition

  "Monty Python's Flying Circus: The Spanish Inquisition". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 1970.

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• I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

  Graham Chapman

  Mother, Father, Animal

  "Fictional character: Frenchman". "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", 1975.

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• I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!

  Graham Chapman

  Spam

  "Song: Spam (Another Monty Python Record)". September 8, 1972.

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• Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

  Michael Palin

  Lying, Government, Holy Grail

  "Fictional character: Dennis". "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", 1975.

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• We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

  Graham Chapman

  Change, Knights, Holy Grail

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• And now for something completely different...

  John Cleese

  Nudge Nudge, Holy Grail, Different

  "Q&A: And now for something completely John Cleese". Interview with Ian Brown, www.theglobeandmail.com. November 21, 2014.

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• Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.

  Graham Chapman

  Lying, Government, Holy Grail

  "Fictional character: Dennis". "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", www.imdb.com. March 14, 1975.

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• What have the Romans ever done for us?

  John Cleese

  Holy Grail, Done, Rhetorical Question

  "Early On, Comedian John Cleese Says, He Had Good Timing But Little Else". "Fresh Air" with Dave Davies, www.npr.org. October 16, 2015.

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• All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

  John Cleese

  Wine, Order, Medicine

  "Fictional character: Reg". "Life of Brian", www.imdb.com. 1979.

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• A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

  Eric Idle

  Nudge Nudge, Bats, Circus

  Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones (2009). “Monty Python Live!”, Hyperion

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• First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more-no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

  Michael Palin

  Naughty, Sight, Hands

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• Always look on the bright side of life.

  Graham Chapman

  Positive Attitude, Positivity, Good As It Gets

  Graham Chapman (2001). “Monty Python's the life of Brian (of Nazareth)”, Methuen Pub Ltd

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• I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

  Graham Chapman

  Mean, Holy Grail, Peasants

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• I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

  Michael Palin

  Flower, Cutting, Tree

  "The Lumberjack Song". Song by Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Fred Tomlinson, November 14, 1975.

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• Nudge, nudge. Snap, snap. Grin, grin. Wink, wink, say no more? Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge.

  Graham Chapman

  Mean, Nudge Nudge, Winking

  "Fictional character: Mr. Norman Nudge". TV Series "Monty Python's Flying Circus" ("How to Recognise Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away", 1969), www.imdb.com. 1969-1974.

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• This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.

  Graham Chapman

  Death, Rest In Peace, Would Be

  Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones (2009). “Monty Python Live!”, Hyperion

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• Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.

  Kevin Hearne

  Python, Feelings, Nerd

  Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hounded (with two bonus short stories): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book One”, p.179, Del Rey

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• The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him.

  Louis C. K.

  Night, Idols, Pbs

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• If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.'

  Seth MacFarlane

  Song, Python, Sound

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• Many businessmen fail to understand Python principles--the ultimate absurdity was an offer from America to buy the 'format' of the Python shows, that is, Monty Python without the Pythons--corporate methods do not have the conceptual framework to deal with an anarchist collective, run by intelligent and arrogant comedians who have proved that their method works.

  Robert Hewison

  Friends, Running, Failure

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• Mike Nicholls saw me in the musical of The Full Monty and brought me in to audition for Angels in America for HBO. And that opened a lot of doors because you could go to LA and say: "Well, I'm starring opposite Al Pacino and Meryl Streep..."

  Patrick Wilson

  Angel, Musical

  Source: www.indielondon.co.uk

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• You don't get a lot of life milestones in show business. It's really difficult to make things, and a lot of times you don't know you're at the end of something. With Mr. Show, I was only a writer and we knew we were going into the movie, and we thought, "Okay, like Monty Python, we're going to make five movies." And we didn't know it was the end. So it ended up being a bummer and such a terrible ending for Mr. Show. We never got to feel like, "Wow, we did it! We did something."

  Scott Aukerman

  Milestone, Terrible, Difficult

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• There's no gap between the writer and the performer, which is what I think makes [Monty] Python unique. Five or six people who write Python and five or six who act it. That's what makes it unique.

  Eric Idle

  Writing, Unique, Thinking

  Interview with Kyle Seasly, whitmanwire.com. May 13, 2013.

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