Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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