George Carlin Quotes About Atheist

Quotes about: Atheist

• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Stupid People, Organization

• Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Life, Motivational

• There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Ku Klux Klan, Doubt

• I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

  George Carlin

  Religious, Atheist, Ideas

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Atheist

  George Carlin (2007). “The Best of Brain Droppings”, p.52, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.

• I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Two, Guy

  "A Place for My Stuff". Comedy album by George Carlin, 1981.

• I also survived circumcision, a barbaric practice designed to remind you as early as possible that your genitals are not your own.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Practice, Circumcision

  George Carlin (2009). “Last Words”, p.21, Simon and Schuster

• When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, League, Bullshit

• I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label. I feel that if I was figuratively dropped on the Earth and there was a political line, I would be just left of center. The difference for me is that conservatives are more interested in property values and rights and free markets, and liberals are more interested in human rights. In the end, there are people who don't fit into the marketplace and are not equipped. I believe the government should step in where the free market fails.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Business, Believe

  Las Vegas CityLife, August 09, 2007.

• I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  "You Are All Diseased". Book by George Carlin, 1999.

• Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Thinking, Drug

• Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.

  George Carlin

  Religious, Atheist, Men

  "You Are All Diseased". Documentary, Comedy, 1999.

• For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Labels, Belief

  Las Vegas CityLife, August 09, 2007.

• In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Bullshit, Clergymen

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

• When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

  George Carlin

  Funny, God, Atheist

  George Carlin (2004). “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, Hyperion

• I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.

  George Carlin

  Atheist, Definitions, Belief

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

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