Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature, I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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