I have never been able to see life as anything but a vast complicated practical joke, and it's better to laugh than cry.
If you've got the truth you can demonstrate it. Talking doesn't prove it.
The most expensive thing in the world is a second-best military establishment, good but not good enough to win.
Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure “good” government, it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare — most people want to run things, but want no part of the blame. This used to be called the “backseat driver” syndrome.
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.
I've never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith-it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.
Behind every mystery lies another mystery.
To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.
There comes a time in the life of every human when he or she must decide to risk ‘his life, his fortune and his sacred honor’ on an outcome dubious. Those who fail the challenge are merely overgrown children, can never be anything else.
Thinking doesn't pay. Just makes you discontented with what you see around you.
Each man is his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.
Christ was crucified for preaching without a police permit
The capacity of the human mind for swallowing nonsense and spewing it forth in violent and repressive action has never yet been plumbed.
Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
No intelligent man has any respect for an unjust law.
A critic is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased, he hates all creative people equally.
Premenstrual Syndrome: Just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.
Girls are simply wonderful. Just to stand on a corner and watch them going past is delightful. They don't walk. At least not what we do when we walk. I don't know how to describe it, but it's much more complex and utterly delightful. They don't move just their feet; everything moves and in different directions . . . and all of it graceful.
On two subjects the overwhelming majority of people regarded their own opinions as Absolute Truth, and sincerely believed that anyone who disagreed with them was immoral, outrageous, sinful, sacrilegious, offensive, intolerable, stupid, illogical, treasonable, actionable, against the public interest, ridiculous, and obscene. The two subjects were (of course) sex and religion.
Democracy can't work. Mathematicians, peasants, and animals, that's all there is - so democracy, a theory based on the assumption that mathematicians and peasants are equal, can never work. Wisdom is not additive; its maximum is that of the wisest man in a given group.
How can I possibly put a new idea into your heads, if I do not first remove your delusions?
You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.
In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor your only escape is to never let them find out.
Most people who sneer at technology would starve to death if the engineering infrastructure were removed.
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