Erma Bombeck Quotes - Page 14

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• I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.

  Erma Bombeck

  Tables, Littles, Jars

  8 Copy quote

• I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.292, Open Road Media

  4 Copy quote

• A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Cute, Friends

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.477, Open Road Media

  11 Copy quote

• Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world.

  Erma Bombeck

  Tattoo, Anchors, Events

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.9, Open Road Media

  4 Copy quote

• A small waist makes you tire easily.

  Erma Bombeck

  Weight, Tire

  Erma Bombeck (1986). “I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression”, Fawcett Books

  4 Copy quote

• Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.

  Erma Bombeck

  Years, Taste, Eating

  4 Copy quote

• Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.

  Erma Bombeck

  Book, Getting High, Clubs

  66 Copy quote

• Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.

  Erma Bombeck

  Hope, Children, Wish

  4 Copy quote

• When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

  Erma Bombeck

  Money, Children, Parent

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.320, Open Road Media

  4 Copy quote

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