Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter
A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
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