You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie.
Audiences are not strangers to me. They're the best friends I've got in my life.
You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
Onstage, nothing is as important as truth, nothing. As soon as you lie, they know it.
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