If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory
If it doesn't make sense, it's usually not true.
I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress
The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.
Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.
"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."
There's no cap on success. The jury stays out till you take your last breath.
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.
You only have one thing in business, and that is your reputation
Since I'm the judge, it's a very stupid thing to irritate me!
Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
Unless you believe in reincarnation, this is your one shot.
Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.
It's your life; live it well.
If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.
One of the loveliest weddings I ever performed was that of a gay couple. To me if you are a good citizen, you pay your taxes, you work, you should have all the rights and responsibilities of everybody else.
I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.
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