If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.
I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?
He has the most who is most content with the least.
No man is hurt but by himself. ...Literally by how he interprets what happens to him. If he focusses on how it could have been better, he will be hurt. If he focusses on how it could have been worse, he will be happy. The same is true for women too.
We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
Fools! You think of "god" as a sentient being. God is the word used to represent a force. This force created nothing, it just helps things along. It does not answer prayers, although it may make you think of a way to solve a problem. It has the power to influence you, but not decide for you.
I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.
He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."
Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, "Behold Plato's man!"
We come into the world alone and we die alone. Why, in life, should we be any less alone?
It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings
Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy, and you've got an audience.
When Alexander the Great addressed him with greetings, and asked if he wanted anything, Diogenes replied "Yes, stand a little out of my sunshine."
Aristotle was once asked what those who tell lies gain by it. Said he - That when they speak truth they are not believed.
I am looking for an honest man.
I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.
Education gives sobriety to the young, comfort to the old, riches to the poor and is an ornament to the rich.
In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.
You will become a teacher of yourself when for the same things that you blame others, you also blame yourself.
We have complicated every simple gift of the gods.
Self-taught poverty is a help toward philosophy, for the things which philosophy attempts to teach by reasoning, poverty forces us to practice.
If you are to be kept right, you must possess either good friends or red-hot enemies. The one will warn you, the other will expose you.
There is only a finger's difference between a wise man and a fool.
When I look upon seamen, men of science and philosophers, man is the wisest of all beings; when I look upon priests and prophets nothing is as contemptible as man.
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