I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?
In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.
He has the most who is most content with the least.
One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings
If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.
We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
People who talk well but do nothing are like musical intruments; the sound is all they have to offer.
Of what use is a philosopher who doesn't hurt anybody's feelings?
We come into the world alone and we die alone. Why, in life, should we be any less alone?
Fools! You think of "god" as a sentient being. God is the word used to represent a force. This force created nothing, it just helps things along. It does not answer prayers, although it may make you think of a way to solve a problem. It has the power to influence you, but not decide for you.
No man is hurt but by himself. ...Literally by how he interprets what happens to him. If he focusses on how it could have been better, he will be hurt. If he focusses on how it could have been worse, he will be happy. The same is true for women too.
You will become a teacher of yourself when for the same things that you blame others, you also blame yourself.
The most beautiful thing in the world is freedom of speech.
We are more curious about the meaning of dreams than about things we see when awake.
Why not whip the teacher when the pupil misbehaves?
To become self-educated you should condemn yourself for all those things that you would criticize others.
He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."
Even if I am but a pretender to wisdom, that in itself is philosophy.
There is only a finger's difference between a wise man and a fool.
Self-taught poverty is a help toward philosophy, for the things which philosophy attempts to teach by reasoning, poverty forces us to practice.
When I look upon seamen, men of science and philosophers, man is the wisest of all beings; when I look upon priests and prophets nothing is as contemptible as man.
I do not know whether there are gods, but there ought to be.
Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards.
Education gives sobriety to the young, comfort to the old, riches to the poor and is an ornament to the rich.
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