Your mind knows your pretending, but, in terms of the adrenaline and the fact that you are actually crying, and that you are that upset, and you are screaming, and you are simulating terror, your body does not know that it is not real. Your body feels really wrecked afterwards.
I've never been very comfortable as an actor looking out into the audience; I always like to keep my focus on the other person. When you start playing out to the audience, it takes me out of it, because people don't do that when you're in life behaving with another person - you don't often look out, around you, in a presentational manner.
I will do plays as long as they're interested in having me do them. It's the biggest opportunity to learn the most about how to act. Something I discover every time I'm doing one is how little I know about acting - how important the art of listening is, and how important it is to listen with your entire body. You can tell so much of a story with stillness, and a lot of that can be from really actively listening to your scene partner.
I don't have children, but my work life is as important to me as anything could be. I've dedicated a lot of time and energy and years to it. Some might say some of my childbearing years to it. In and of itself, my work is like a child to me. That is my reality.
I have friends say, "Don't you want to have a little you?" The jury's still out on that for me. I don't have a definitive answer, but I do know that I can look back on some of the things I've worked on and some of the things that have literally come out of my imagination and be just as proud of it as if I had created a person. I feel like that shouldn't be of any less value. It can't be because it's what my life is, and I don't want to make it smaller or more palatable just because society tells you to. If you can get comfortable with sacrifice, then you are having it all.
I personally think it would be a very liberating thing for women to allow themselves to understand that having it all incorporates sacrifice. It does mean that you can't be everywhere all the time. It does mean that your friends are not going to get all of you.
That is my reality. It's that important to nurture and foster my own creativity. There are plenty of birthday parties I haven't been able to go to, weddings I haven't been able to go to because I've been working. Those are things that have not been easy to give up, but at the same time, it is my reality. It's my responsibility.
Playing Sally McKenna was a wonderful, freeing thing because we all in life have so many responsibilities to ourselves, to other people, that we rarely get to explore a very selfish side of ourselves in doing what we want, when we want, how we want, without answering to or being responsible for anyone else.
I just don't feel that we've traveled very far in the realm of social equality. There just seems to be a little bit of unrest. And sometimes I think that happens when you really feel like something's about to change. Right before the moment of lift off, sometimes things feel a little bit unhinged, and that's what it feels like to me right now, both as a woman and just as a human on the planet as an American woman in America. I feel like we're on the precipice of change. I feel a little nervous.
I think sometimes when you can feel the velocity of change, like nowadays, you really need a seat belt. It's almost like having a growth spurt that you can feel, like a 16-year-old who woke up one day and grew four inches literally overnight. That can be a painful thing sometimes.
I could feel my body temperature - I knew I was bright red. It was so humiliating, I was so upset, and it was nothing I had planned to do. It was just one of those beautiful moments, the alchemy of acting that is so mysterious, where you sort of go, "How did that come out of me?"
Anything is possible, and the truth is any human being at any given moment, no matter how good they are - not only at their job but also as a person - they're capable of anything, and it's not always a conscious thing.
I'm sporting some really blonde hair because I live in Hollywood and I'm an actress.
When I have brown hair I feel the most like myself, but I don't feel glamorous. It's a disgusting thing to admit.
Nobody could ever say as many terrible things to me as I say to myself.
I was a victim of what most people are a victim of, which is really, really just gulping down what was being fed to me by the media.
I could never have thought, "I wanna play a two-headed woman." That just never would have occurred to me, in a million years.
I have been sitting around waiting for an opportunity to get to do something that matters for so long. Not just that matters in the world, which I think that season, in particular, had a very important meaning for a lot of people, but for me, as an actress.
I played a lesbian reporter in 1964, who was incarcerated, and ended the series as a 75-year-old woman. And then, I was a witch blinded by acid who became the Supreme, and took my mother's energy and life, so that I could live and she would die. And then, I was conjoined twins. And then, I played a heroin addict.
I do like the immediacy of audience's reaction. I like when I can hear the stillness and I know that they're with us.
I like that feeling in your brain when you've got seven things that you're holding in one moment-you heard that person cough, you heard that person laugh, you're also saying your line, you're also listening to the person who's talking to you.
I like the ritual of putting on my makeup, putting on my costume, doing my warm-ups. I eat the same dinner every night before I go on stage. I like having something that I can count on, something that feels stabilizing for me.
I'm addicted to routine. I don't know if that's because I moved around so much as child - by the time I was 12 years old, I had lived in about 10 different places. But I like going to the theater at a certain time.
When I look at my career, the bulk of it has been television, and I love working in television. But there's a speed at which you do it. You're doing seven to ten pages a day on a series, and it's hard to feel like you're doing the detail-oriented work that I like to do.
I remember feeling the temperature change the first time the curtain came up, the difference between the audience temperature and the stage temperature. I'll never forget it.
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