Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 9

• You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.

  Terry Pratchett

  Running, Hurt, Betrayal

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• I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat. -Lord Vetinari

  Terry Pratchett

  Events, Lord, Vetinari

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• I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

  Terry Pratchett

  Life, Death, Nice

  Terry Pratchett (2017). “Terry Pratchett's Discworld Coloring Book”, p.42, Simon and Schuster

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• He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

  Terry Pratchett

  Death, Tunnels, Light

  "Mort". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1987.

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• They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.

  Terry Pratchett

  Beach, Laughing, Alive

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• What can the harvest hope for...

  Terry Pratchett

  Azrael, Harvest, Discworld

  Terry Pratchett (2017). “Terry Pratchett's Discworld Coloring Book”, p.10, Simon and Schuster

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• "Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

  Terry Pratchett

  Exclamation Marks, Mind, Discworld

  "Eric" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 153), February 2002.

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• The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

  Terry Pratchett

  Mind, Cuckoos, Dukes

  "Wyrd Sisters". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1988.

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• The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.

  Terry Pratchett

  Pages, Soap, Truth Is

  FaceBook post by Terry Pratchett from Feb 22, 2017

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• Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like 'What is my purpose in life?' very quickly lacked both.

  Terry Pratchett

  Hero, Purpose, Saws

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Interesting Times: (Discworld Novel 17)”, p.139, Random House

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• The stories never said why she was wicked. It was enough to be an old woman, enough to be all alone, enough to look strange because you have no teeth. It was enough to be called a witch. If it came to that, the book never gave you the evidence of anything. It talked about "a handsome prince"... was he really, or was it just because he was a prince that people called handsome? As for "a girl who was as beautiful as the day was long"... well, which day? In midwinter it hardly ever got light! The stories don't want you to think, they just wanted you to believe what you were told.

  Terry Pratchett

  Beautiful, Girl, Book

  "The Wee Free Men". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2003.

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• They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

  Terry Pratchett

  Book, Hero, Men

  "Guards! Guards!". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

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• They were indeed what was known as 'old money', which meant that it had been made so long ago that the black deeds which had originally filled the coffers were now historically irrelevant. Funny, that: a brigand for a father was something you kept quiet about, but a slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather was something to boast of over the port. Time turned the evil bastards into rogues, and rogue was a word with a twinkle in its eye and nothing to be ashamed of.

  Terry Pratchett

  Father, Eye, Long Ago

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• The secret is not to dream," she whispered. "The secret is to wake up. Waking up is harder. I have woken up and I am real. I know where I come from and I know where I'm going. You cannot fool me any more. Or touch me. Or anything that is mine.

  Terry Pratchett

  Dream, Real, Secret

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Wee Free Men: (Discworld Novel 30)”, p.283, Random House

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• Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.

  Terry Pratchett

  Long Ago, Pirate, Dying

  "The Colour of Magic". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1983.

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• Carpe Jugulum," read Agnes aloud. "That's... well, Carpe Diem is 'Sieze the Day,' so this means-" "Go for the throat

  Terry Pratchett

  Mean, Carpe Diem, Throat

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Carpe Jugulum: (Discworld Novel 23)”, p.83, Random House

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• The senior wizard in a world of magic had the same prospects of long-term employment as a pogo stick tester in a minefield.

  Terry Pratchett

  Senior, Long, Magic

  "Moving Pictures". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1990.

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• Ingenuity and incongruity always cheer me up.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cheer, Cheer Me Up, Ingenuity

  Source: www.washingtonpost.com

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• I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.

  Terry Pratchett

  Presence Of Mind, Islands, Bottles

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• Freedom without limits is just a word.

  Terry Pratchett

  Limits

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• Everything is a test.

  Terry Pratchett

  Tests

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Thief Of Time: (Discworld Novel 26)”, p.72, Random House

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• Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean.

  Terry Pratchett

  Mean, Thinking, People

  "Thief of Time". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 2001.

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• There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny Inspirational, Opposites, People

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.177, Random House

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• Your whole life passes in front of your eyes before you die. This is called living.

  Terry Pratchett

  Eye, Whole Life, Dies

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• THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.

  Terry Pratchett

  Years, World, Complicated

  Terry Pratchett (2009). “Mort: (Discworld Novel 4)”, p.59, Random House

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