Jordan Sonnenblick Quotes

Quotes about:

Home Mom Parents

If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Promise, Get Better, Dying

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.81, Scholastic Inc.

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Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

Jordan Sonnenblick

Trying, Agonizing, Can't Change

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.105, Scholastic Inc.

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But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Good Times, Should

Jordan Sonnenblick (2011). “After Ever After”, p.247, Scholastic Inc.

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And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Life, Mind, One Thing

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.135, Scholastic Inc.

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Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Kids, Fire, Light

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I seriously think I could have sat in the middle of the kitchen floor rubbing two sticks together over a pile of dynamite blocks and gasoline cans, and my parents would be oblivious, as long as I was keeping myself occupied.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Block, Thinking, Two

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.77, Scholastic Inc.

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I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Paper, Dove, Holmes

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.86, Scholastic Inc.

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What do you call a planet where bad guys stroll through life with success draped around their shoulders like a King’s cloak, while random horrors are visited upon the innocent heads of children? I call it Earth.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Kings, Children, Guy

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.111, Scholastic Inc.

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Did you really JUST fall, Jeffrey? Why does everybody in my family talk in these dramatic CAPITAL LETTERS all the time? Why am I the only calm one?

Jordan Sonnenblick

Fall, Doe, Letters

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.15, Scholastic Inc.

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(Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers’ shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)

Jordan Sonnenblick

Mother, Teenage, Boys

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Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls

Jordan Sonnenblick

Beautiful, Girl, Hands

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.148, Scholastic Inc.

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Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor. Person #1: And how's that working out for you? Me: Well, you see, I, uh, used to have leukemia. Person #2: Dude, how come you're not, like, BALD? Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I had acute lymphocytic lymphoma when I was five. Person #3: Whoa. THAT must'a sucked. I once had my tonsils out.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Cancer, Work Out, Survivor

Jordan Sonnenblick (2011). “After Ever After”, p.54, Scholastic Inc.

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Annette had kissed me. Who would’a thunk it?

Jordan Sonnenblick

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.146, Scholastic Inc.

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It's amazing--my parents call everything a discussion. If I were standing across the street, firing a bazooka at my mother, while my father was launching mortar back at me, and Jeffery was charging down the driveway with a grenade in his teeth, my parents would say we should stop having this public "discussion".

Jordan Sonnenblick

Mother, Father, Parent

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.120, Scholastic Inc.

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There are really no guidelines whatsoever, because this is the kind of thing that only happens to ME.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Kind, Guidelines, Happens

Jordan Sonnenblick (2006). “Notes from the Midnight Driver”

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Or maybe...their biggest fear is that they will get close to you again, and you'll go and drop dead.

Jordan Sonnenblick

You Again, Biggest Fear

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It was like seeing Bill Gates at age thirteen, times two. And half of him was wearing a cheerleader uniform. Yes, I know that’s a weird image.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Two, Age, Half

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I’ll probably just stand in a corner, trying not to be noticed, until the decoration committee accidentally packs me into a box at the end of the night. There I will lie, crammed in between rolls of crepe paper, until the New Year’s dance two months from now. Jeffrey thought about this for a moment and said, Won’t they notice the box is too heavy when they go to put it away?

Jordan Sonnenblick

New Year, Lying, Night

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Finally the kitchen clock said 5:17. It was time to roll out. I shouted for my mom, woke Jeffrey up, ran upstairs, changed into my concert clothes, put on my shoes, and was standing by the door to the garage by 5:19—chanting “Let’s go! Come on!” (Feel free to try that at home, by the way; moms love it!)

Jordan Sonnenblick

Mom, Home, Doors

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.140, Scholastic Inc.

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Hi, Tad!' she said. 'Hi, Jeff! Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?' 'Uh, no,' I said. 'We were just...I mean, Tad was...uh, nope.' 'So what were you guys talking about?' 'Well,' I said, 'it's very complicated. We were discussing...umm...hats. You know, hats. Like, the head kind.' 'There's another kind?' Lindsey asked. 'Hey, Jeff?' Tad said. 'If your mom needs any evidence to prove that you're retarded, let me know. I'd be glad to record you talking to Lindsey. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Mom, Mean, Talking

Jordan Sonnenblick (2012). “After Ever After”, p.53, Scholastic Inc.

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You can be our critic. Would you dig that? (Yes, he was the last Man in America who could say “dig” with a straight face without referring to the process of using a tool to remove dirt from the ground.)

Jordan Sonnenblick

Men, America, Tools

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.108, Scholastic Inc.

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Mr. Watras asked me whether I was practicing, and I told him I was practicing my tissue basketball skills.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Basketball, Skills, Tissues

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.82, Scholastic Inc.

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Not, like, that, boychik, you sound like a herd of elephants charging through a music store.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Elephants, Sound, Herds

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Notes From The Midnight Driver”, p.248, Scholastic Inc.

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Chicks dig a dude who’s sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Eggplant, Style, Chicks

Jordan Sonnenblick (2010). “Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie”, p.55, Scholastic Inc.

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It was a cheesy cheeseball, covered with Cheez Whiz and served on a bed of Cheez-Its. With a side of queso.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Cheesy, Bed, Sides

Jordan Sonnenblick (2012). “After Ever After”, p.101, Scholastic Inc.

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Born: July 4, 1969
Occupation: Writer
Cite this Page: Citation

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