Brené Brown Quotes About Shame

Quotes about: Shame

• We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying.

  Brené Brown

  Bullying, People, Addiction

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.67, Penguin

• We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.

  Brené Brown

  Fun, People, Judging

• Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it - it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy... When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.

  Brené Brown

  Hate, Stories, Shame

  "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are". Book by Brené Brown, August 27, 2010.

• If we are going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of *what we're supposed to be* is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.

  Brené Brown

  Real, Light, Support

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.96, Penguin

• If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.

  Brené Brown

  Empathy, Understanding, Stories

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.68, Penguin

• Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them- we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.

  Brené Brown

  Betrayal, Love Is, Two

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.93, Penguin

• Self-compassion is key because when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.

  Brené Brown

  Compassion, Keys, Self

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.68, Penguin

• When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.

  Brené Brown

  Fear, Feelings, Ordinary

  Brené Brown (2013). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.18, Penguin UK

• Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

  Brené Brown

  Painful Feelings, Self, Perfect

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.111, Penguin

• If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.

  Brené Brown

  Silence, Empathy, Three

• Empathy is the antidote to shame.

  Brené Brown

  Empathy, Shame, Antidote

  "Brené Brown Talks to The Shriver Report: The Power of Shame on Women Living on the Brink". Interview with Cara P. Lemieux, shriverreport.org. February 5, 2014.

• Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.

  Brené Brown

  Struggle, Two, Space

  "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are". Book by Brené Brown, August 27, 2010.

• If we want to live and love with our whole hearts, and if we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have to talk about the things that get in the way- especially shame, fear and vulnerability

  Brené Brown

  Heart, And Love, World

  Brené Brown (2010). “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”, p.50, Simon and Schuster

• Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.

  Brené Brown

  Believe, Shame, Capable

  Twitter post from Mar 20, 2013

• When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver!

  Brené Brown

  Riding, Driving, Annoying

  FaceBook post by Brené Brown from Jun 13, 2013

• Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.

  Brené Brown

  Shame, Gremlins, Daring Greatly

  Brené Brown (2012). “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”, p.62, Penguin

• Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.

  Brené Brown

  Powerful, Not Good Enough, Emotion

• Shame: We all have it. It's that gremlin that says 'I'm not enough.' Or, if you're feeling pretty confident,...'ooh, who do you think you are?' Shame always has a seat.

  Brené Brown

  Thinking, Feelings, Doubt

• You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame.

  Brené Brown

  Motivation, Inspiration, Race

• Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or 'too bad' if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don't use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighted down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief.

  Brené Brown

  Motivational, Meaningful, Disappointment

  Brené Brown (2010). “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”, p.123, Simon and Schuster

• If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.(page 10)

  Brené Brown

  Flying, Storm, Stories

• Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)

  Brené Brown

  Struggle, Self, Feelings

• You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.

  Brené Brown

  People, Shame, Behavior

  Brené Brown (2007). “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"”, p.20, Penguin

• We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.

  Brené Brown

  Change, Psychology, Feelings

• Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you stay quiet, you stay in a lot of self-judgment.

  Brené Brown

  Self, Silence, Quiet

  "Brené Brown Talks to The Shriver Report: The Power of Shame on Women Living on the Brink". Interview with Cara P.Lemieux, shriverreport.org. May 02, 2014.

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