Peggy Orenstein Quotes

Quotes about:

• Sex-ed courses look at girl's internal parts: for boys it's about ejaculation, erection and wet dreams; for girls, it's periods and unwanted pregnancy. We never talk to girls about sexual self-exploration or self-knowledge.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Dream, Sex

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  9 Copy quote

• Girls would say: "I have a boyfriend for that." So in addition to putting their pleasure literally into someone else's hands - an inept teenage boy - these are the same girls who say they do not climax with a partner. It's the opposite with boys; they say because they can do that themselves, girls should perform oral sex.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Sex, Teenage

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  11 Copy quote

• I found that in a perverse way our culture and parents are far more comfortable talking about girls' vicitimization than girls' sexual agency.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Agency, Talking

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• Marketing to girls constantly presents a hypersexualized idea of girls; they're expected to appear sexy but be cut off from their sexuality.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Sexy, Cutting

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• All girls over age 14 remove pubic hair. The only touching is to remove hair. That's grim.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Hair, Touching

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• Girls are removing pubic hair before fully having it. They would say I feel cleaner, it's for me, but then they'd say if a boy saw pubic hair down there they'd head for the hills.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Boys, Hair

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  8 Copy quote

• One of the challenges is to create an equally positive, satisfying sense of femininity and feminine identity in a different way so that there are things you're saying yes to and satisfying that urge that your daughter has to be assert her girlness. The surface level of the culture, and really several inches into it, makes that very hard to do. I hate to put another thing on parents' plates. But the culture is very intentional in what it's telling your daughter and what it's telling you about the message of femininity. And if you're not intentional and conscious back, you lose.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Daughter, Hate, Challenges

  4 Copy quote

• Girls are freer to express their femininity and their sexuality and we're not tamping that down or denying it anymore. But it ends up putting them, first of all, in this box. And secondly, premature sexualization of girls actually does the opposite of what people think it might; it actually disconnects them from their sexuality and makes for decreased sexual health as they get older.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Thinking, People

  5 Copy quote

• It's not that pink is intrinsically bad, but it is such a tiny slice of the rainbow, and, though it may celebrate girlhood in one way, it also repeatedly and firmly fuses girl's identity to appearance.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Rainbow, Identity

  "The ghettoisation of pink: how it has cornered the little-girl market" by Peggy Orenstein, www.theguardian.com. June 18, 2011.

  7 Copy quote

• Displaying yourself as sexy doesn't do anything to increase sexual self-knowledge or pleasure.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Sexy, Self, Pleasure

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• We're afraid if girls find out sex is pleasurable they'll stop being gatekeepers, they'll go out and have sex.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Sex, Gatekeepers

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• I talked to a junior in college, and she was fed up. She said, "I'm not doing other girls any favours by faking orgasms and not calling out guys when we're having unequal experiences."

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, College, Guy

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  8 Copy quote

• For years we've used the bases analogy - with intercourse being the "ultimate sex" even though that's probably not going to feel good to girls. That model doesn't let you say "I like it at second base, maybe I'll stay here."

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Sex, Years

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• American Psychological Association, the girlie-girl culture’s emphasis on beauty and play-sexiness can increase girls’ vulnerability to the pitfalls that most concern parents: depression, eating disorders, distorted body image, risky sexual behavior.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Play, Parent

  Peggy Orenstein (2011). “Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture”, p.6, Harper Collins

  6 Copy quote

• I'll tell you what is insidious about the Disney Princess, besides the fact that if you look into their merchandise, the 26,000 items, you're always finding books that are about "my perfect wedding." It's what it puts girls on the path for. And that it poses as something that protects girls, or staves off premature sexualization, when I think it primes them for it. I don't know where to put that on the continuum exactly. I guess eight?

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Book, Princess

  4 Copy quote

• There is a way hook ups are serving young women. And it was important for me to always talk about how behaviours were serving girls, not just making them the victims.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Important, Behaviour

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  4 Copy quote

• Mothers are doing a better job talking about risk, danger, reproduction, consent, unwanted pregnancy. We're not talking about how to balance the risks and joys and we're really not talking about the joys.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Mother, Jobs, Pregnancy

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  3 Copy quote

• We continue to think of virginity as first intercourse. That ends up minimizing and marginalizing other things kids are engaged in, like oral sex. And it's not going to feel particularly good for girls as the big marker of adulthood.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Sex, Kids

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  7 Copy quote

• Sexualization is imposed from the outside as opposed to sexuality, an understanding of the body's responses and desires and ability to communicate that, cultivated from within.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Understanding, Desire, Body

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  6 Copy quote

• Maybe I wanted children, maybe I didn't, but I wanted the decision to be a choice, not a mandate. Last time I checked, childlessness was only supposed to be a condition of career advancement for nuns.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Children, Careers, Choices

  Peggy Orenstein (2010). “Waiting for Daisy: The True Story of One Couple's Quest to Have a Baby”, p.8, A&C Black

  3 Copy quote

• Intimate justice touches on ideas of gender inequity, violence, bodily integrity, physical and mental health. I don't expect a 15-year-old girl to have that figured out; it's hard enough to have it figured out when you're 50.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Integrity, Years

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  3 Copy quote

• Saying "yes" [to sexual activity] is a pretty low baseline for sexual experience and I wanted to write about what was happening to girls after "yes."

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Writing, Saying Yes

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  3 Copy quote

• And isn't that, at it's core, what the princess fantasy is about for all of us? "Princess" is how we tell little girls that they are special, precious. "Princess" is the wish that we could protect them from pain, that they would never know sorrow, that they will live happily ever after ensconces in lace and innocence.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Happiness, Girl, Pain

  5 Copy quote

• My kind of nightmare quote is from Deborah Tolman, who does research on girls and desire and is, I think, brilliant. She told me that by the time girls are teenagers, when she asks them how sexual experience made them feel, they respond by how they think they looked; they think that how they look is how they feel.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Teenager, Thinking

  3 Copy quote

• While I completely disagree with the "purity" concept, it was the only place I saw fathers talking to girls about their expectations and attitudes to sex and expressing love and support. I didn't see liberal dads having similar conversations with their daughters.

  Peggy Orenstein

  Girl, Daughter, Sex

  Source: www.macleans.ca

  3 Copy quote

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