It is tact that is golden, not silence.
If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be surprised to find how little remains that we cannot do.
One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fighting at once.
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
Life is a quarry, out of which we are to mold and chisel and complete a character.
Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it, shall perish by it.
A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.
Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.
People are lucky and unlucky not according to what they get absolutely, but according to the ratio between what they get and what they have been led to expect.
The seven deadly sins: Want of money, bad health, bad temper, chastity, family ties, knowing that you know things, and believing in the Christian religion.
Think of and look at your work as though it were done by your enemy. I you look at it to admire it, you are lost.
It is not he who gains the exact point in dispute who scores most in controversy - but he who has shown the better temper.
To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.
Christ: I dislike him very much. Still, I can stand him. What I cannot stand is the wretched band of people whose profession is to hoodwink us about him.
Our minds want clothes as much as our bodies.
Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one.
God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.
God and the Devil are an effort after specialisation and division of labour.
Academic and aristocratic people live in such an uncommon atmosphere that common sense can rarely reach them.
People in general are equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted, and at seeing it practiced.
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