Artemas Ward Quotes

• Trouble will come soon enough, and when he does come receive him as pleasantly as possible. The more amiably you greet him, the sooner he will go away.

  Artemas Ward

  Soon Enough, Going Away, Doe

  15 Copy quote

• I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.

  Artemas Ward

  Music, Saddest, I Can

  7 Copy quote

• The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.

  Artemas Ward

  Land, Puritan, Despotism

  London Punch Letters, No. 5, 1866.

  14 Copy quote

• I am not a politician, and my other habits are good, also.

  Artemas Ward

  Politician, Habit

  "Fourth of July Oration" by Artemas Ward,

  17 Copy quote

• Let's have the Union restored as it was, if we can; but if we can't, I'm in favor of the Union as it wasn't.

  Artemas Ward

  Unions, Favors, Ifs

  14 Copy quote

• We wish genius and morality where affectionate companions, but it is a fact that they are often bitter enemies. They don't necessarily coalesce any more than oil and water do.

  Artemas Ward

  Oil And Water, Enemy, Wish

  9 Copy quote

• It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.

  Artemas Ward

  Marriage, Wedding, Men

  12 Copy quote

• I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.

  Artemas Ward

  Alcohol, Kind, Liquor

  11 Copy quote

• A writer who can't write in a grammerly manner better shut up shop.

  Artemas Ward

  Writing, Shut Up, Grammar

  7 Copy quote

• One of the principal features of my entertainment is that it contains so many things that don't have anything to do with it.

  Artemas Ward

  Entertainment, Enjoyment, Principal

  "Artemus Ward's Lecture on the Mormons". Book edited by Edward P. Hingston, 1882.

  7 Copy quote

• Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith!

  Artemas Ward

  Names, Moments, Imagine

  7 Copy quote

• The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop Over!.... G. Washington never slopt over.

  Artemas Ward

  Power, Men, Weakness

  6 Copy quote

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