Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Alcohol is barren. The words a man speaks in the night of drunkenness fade like the darkness itself at the coming of day.
O thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou has no name to be known by, let us call thee devil....O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance revel and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!
If die I must, let me die drinking in an Inn.
I work very hard to keep on an even keel as far as alcohol is concerned.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends