You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore.
I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.
When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.
If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful.
The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.
I don't drink anymore... I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle.
The world is the same you never change it, as sure as the stars shine above. Well, you're nobody til somebody loves you, so find yourself somebody to love.
In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody.
It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'
Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.
I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!
The thing I notice first about a woman is her walk. A beautiful woman is like a race horse-slim, sleek and with a beautiful carriage.
Love is a flower that blooms so tender, each kiss a dew drop of sweet surrender. Love is a moment of life enchanting, let's take that moment that tonight is granting.
Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler.
I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant.'
Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime.
Your lips and mine, two sips of wine, memories are made of this.
With his blessings from above, serve it generously with love. One man, one wife, one love, through life.
If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let'em. That's how I got here, you know.
Your love made it all worth waiting for some like you.
When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.
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