The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger.
Don't find fault, find a remedy.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Never mistake motion for action.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends