The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
You can change your wife, your politics, your religion, but never, never can you change your favourite football team.
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
By the way, did you ever realize that if Moses would have turned right instead of left, we'd have had the oil, the Arabs would have had the sand?
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Being bored is an insult to oneself.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Don't find fault, find a remedy.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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