Comedian Quotes

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

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• I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humor, Stupid People

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

  Alan Moore

  Humor, Realizing, Make Sense

  "Fictional character: Edward Blake". "Watchmen", www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.

  Harry Hill

  Funny, Nature, Glasses

  "Harry Hill". TV Series, 1997 - 2000.

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• I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Money, America

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• Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Dream, Revolutionary Ideas

  "Bill Hicks: Sane Man". Documentary, Comedy, 1989.

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• 

  In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

  Bill Cosby

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  Twitter post from Nov 18, 2009

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• It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Money, Nice

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Jul 09, 2012

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• Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

  Billy Connolly

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

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• Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, People

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• The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

  George Jean Nathan

  Funny, Real, Humor

  American Mercury, Sept. 1929

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• Comedians are really writers who don't
  have pens and pencils about them, but
  they riff.

  Carl Reiner

  Pens, Pencils

  Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com. October 2004.

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• Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

  Bob Newhart

  Vacation, Attention, Comedy

  "Bob Newhart Set For Las Vegas Show". Interview with Scott Gulbransen, states.aarp.org. November 3, 2016.

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• I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I’m able to compete in?

  Mindy Kaling

  Badass, Comedy Writing, Self

  "The New New Girl: Mindy Kaling Promotes Herself Out of The Office and Into The Mindy Project". Interview with Jada Yuan, www.vulture.com. September 9, 2012.

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• All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Laughter, Humor

  Fred Allen (2009). “Treadmill to Oblivion”, p.240, Wildside Press LLC

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• The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .

  W. C. Fields

  Laughter, Laughing, Doe

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• Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Humorous, Russia

  Yakov Smirnoff (1987). “America on six rubles a day”, Vintage

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• Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

  Camille Paglia

  Jesus, Brilliant, One Liner

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• A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

  Will Rogers

  Lasts, Serious, Humour

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1995). “Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)”, M Evans & Company

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• Comedians and impressionists used to be two different showbiz animals entirely, but now there's no such thing as a comedian who doesn't do impressions.

  John Podhoretz

  Animal, Two, Different

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• Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

  Ben Stiller

  Parent, Directors, Actors

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• Normally, I name my characters after famous comedians.

  Paula Danziger

  Character, Names

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• Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.

  Al Franken

  People, Pressure, Comedy

  Interview with Stephen Thompson, progressive.org. July 2, 2009.

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• Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

  H. L. Mencken

  Freedom, Democracy, Atheism

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• I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

  Drew Carey

  Would Be, Shows, Wanted

  "Stand-Up Guy". Interview with Nick Gillespie and Steve Kurtz, reason.com. November, 1997.

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