Comedy Quotes

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  There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

  98 Copy quote
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  Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984.

  1618 Copy quote

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  First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

  George Burns

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humor

  127 Copy quote
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  Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

  Sid Caesar

  Laughter, Integrity, Humor

  "The words and comedy of Sid Caesar" by Lisa Respers France, February 12, 2014.

  22 Copy quote

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• Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.

  Sholom Aleichem

  Life, Wise, Dream

  73 Copy quote

• Comedy keeps the heart sweet.

  Mark Twain

  Sweet, Heart

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.61, Courier Corporation

  10 Copy quote

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• Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Makeup, Color

  15 Copy quote

• What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

  Steve Martin

  Art, People, Laughing

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  28 Copy quote

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• Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

  Bill Cosby

  Education, Sex, Believe

  90 Copy quote

• God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

  Garrison Keillor

  Funny, Life, Encouraging

  "Happy to be Here". Book by Garrison Keillor, 1983.

  31 Copy quote

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• I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Song, Humor

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  36 Copy quote

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• You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

  Bob Hope

  Tired, Exhausted, Take Time

  12 Copy quote

• There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

  Erma Bombeck

  Happiness, Hurt, Laughter

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.139, Open Road Media

  22 Copy quote

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• I'm really not feeling one way or the other with comedy or drama, I'm just sort of doing projects that I've been finding really fun to be a part of.

  John Krasinski

  Fun, Drama, Finding The One

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  3 Copy quote

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• I'd like to do a comedy with Emma Thompson. I admire her as an actress so much. I love her. And I didn't know it until recently that her whole career started in comedy.

  Gene Wilder

  Love, Ukulele, Careers

  74 Copy quote

• Well my biggest dream is to be in a romantic comedy.

  Izabella Scorupco

  Romantic, Dream, Wells

  3 Copy quote

• It was just at the end of the golden era of BBC comedy, which was fantastic.

  John Leeson

  Golden, Eras, Fantastic

  3 Copy quote

• I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwiches? All-encompassingly.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Different

  3 Copy quote

• Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

  Marty Feldman

  Funny, Humor, Unnatural

  The Times, June 9, 1969.

  6 Copy quote

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• I like comedy, I love it very much, I love laughing.

  Khandi Alexander

  Laughing

  3 Copy quote

• I have an Italian comedy at the Venice Film Festival.

  Robert Englund

  Italian, Venice, Festivals

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  3 Copy quote

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• I had a terrible job letting me do anything that wasn't comedy.

  Val Guest

  Jobs, Terrible

  3 Copy quote

• When I first started acting, I started in opera and had a great desire to play grand, tragic characters. I got sidetracked in musical theater and ended up doing a lot of comedy.

  Leslie Easterbrook

  Character, Play, Musical

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  5 Copy quote

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• If you elect a matinee idol mayor, you're going to have a musical comedy administration.

  Robert Moses

  Idols, Musical, Administration

  22 Copy quote

• To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Life

  Love and Death, www.imdb.com. 1975.

  18 Copy quote

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