Funny Inspirational Quotes

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  If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

  Dalai Lama

  Inspirational, Funny, Change

  1232 Copy quote

• Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

  Dale Carnegie

  Funny, Faith, Time

  Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster

  2413 Copy quote

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• The road to success is always under construction.

  Lily Tomlin

  Funny, Inspiring, Success

  160 Copy quote

• Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  123 Copy quote

• If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it.

  Gurbaksh Chahal

  Apples, People, Giving

  166 Copy quote

• Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

  196 Copy quote

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• To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error.

  Janet Coleman

  Funny, Hate, Errors

  84 Copy quote

• Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "The Graduation Speech I'd Give, if Anyone Asked" by Karina Bland, www.azcentral.com. June 03, 2015.

  309 Copy quote

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• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

  Margaret Mead

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

  227 Copy quote

• I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Hate, Humorous

  "Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros". Book by Bob Fenster, 2005.

  91 Copy quote

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• We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Motivational, Positive

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  594 Copy quote

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• 

  Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  406 Copy quote

• The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.

  Tom Bodett

  Inspirational, Funny, Differences

  39 Copy quote

• Tough times never last, but tough people do.

  Robert H. Schuller

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  Robert H. Schuller (1993). “Robert H Schuller: The Inspirational Writings : Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do/Tough Minded Faith for Tender Hearted People”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

  156 Copy quote

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• Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Funny, Humorous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  94 Copy quote

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• Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  967 Copy quote

• Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

  Dick Van Dyke

  Success, Women, Discipline

  51 Copy quote

• If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Inspirational, Funny, Wise

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  122 Copy quote

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• 

  The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

  Vince Lombardi

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  203 Copy quote

• I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Worry

  80 Copy quote

• If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

  Ron White

  Funny, Giving, I Believe

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". Comedy, Documentary, www.imdb.com. 2004.

  755 Copy quote

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• Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Leadership, Bullying, Motivation

  80 Copy quote

• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Firsts, Succeed

  44 Copy quote

• Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

  Josh Billings

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  83 Copy quote

• Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

  Dalai Lama

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  58 Copy quote