Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 6

• When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Girl, Witty

  "News Chronicle" (March 14, 1949), as cited by "The Columbia World of Quotations", 1996.

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• When you're out of will power you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.

  Henri Matisse

  Inspirational, Funny, Willpower

  "Matisse on art".

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• Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Success, Work

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

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• If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

  J. Paul Getty

  Money, Motivation, Business

  "he Five Rules for Successful Stock Investing". Book by Pat Dorsey & ‎Joe Mansueto, p. 234, 2003.

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• You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that the world is actually worth your sacrifices.

  Zaha Hadid

  Inspirational, Believe, Sacrifice

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• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

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• It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

  John Wooden

  Motivational, Inspiring, Graduation

  John Wooden (2013). “Quotes from Coach John Wooden: Winning with Principle”, p.160, B&H Publishing Group

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• Don't wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.

  Sara Henderson

  Inspirational, Funny, Tunnels

  Sara Henderson, Sarah Henderson (2013). “The Strength In Us All”, p.1, Pan

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• Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.

  Chuck Noll

  Basketball, Funny Motivational, Top Management

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• Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Inspirational, Funny, Men

  "Heartbreak House: A Fantasia in the Russian Manner on English Themes".

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• My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Success, Class

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  All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

  Woody Allen

  Inspiring, Witty, Truth

  Woody Allen (1998). “Deconstructing Harry”

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  Start with good people, lay out the rules, communicate with your employees, motivate them and reward them. If you do all those things effectively, you can't miss.

  Lee Iacocca

  Leadership, Communication, People

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• Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.

  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  Octopus, Discipline, Movement

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• Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

  Mel Brooks

  Inspiring, Truth, Taste

  Quoted in John Robert Columbo, Popcorn in Paradise (1980)

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• Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.

  Hippocrates

  Get Well, Healing, Doctors

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• It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

  Robert Benchley

  Inspirational, Funny, Time

  Quoted in Reader's Digest, Sept. 1949. According to Nigel Rees, Cassell's Humorous Quotations, the following appeared in Punch in 1924: " 'It took me nearly ten years to learn that I couldn't write.' 'I suppose you gave it up then?' 'Oh, no! By that time I had a reputation established.' " The issue referred to by Rees is 6 Feb., and the cartoonist is R. Curry.

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• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

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• Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

  Mae West

  Funny, Witty, Appreciation

  Goodness Had Nothing to DoWith It ch. 21 (1959)

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• Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Sarcastic, Money

  Mark Twain (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations”, p.33, Courier Corporation

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  If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

  Yogi Berra

  Inspirational, Funny, Success

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

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• Nature itself is the best physician.

  Hippocrates

  Physicians

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• If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

  Marie Osmond

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

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• If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

  Edsger Dijkstra

  Funny, Debugging, Bugs

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• If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Inspirational, Funny, Wise

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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