I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
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