Fred Allen Quotes

Quotes about:

• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

  54 Copy quote

• A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Work, Humor

  29 Copy quote

• Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Failure, Humor

  12 Copy quote

• Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Business, Humor

  84 Copy quote

• Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, People

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Children, Father

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.200, Wildside Press LLC

  5 Copy quote

• If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Criticism

  9 Copy quote

• A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

  Fred Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Teamwork

  3 Copy quote

• I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Writing, Years

  14 Copy quote

• It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

  Fred Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Happiness

  15 Copy quote

• A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Hard Work, Humor

  59 Copy quote

• Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Cities

  5 Copy quote

• He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

  Fred Allen

  Sarcastic, Eye, Blind

  4 Copy quote

• I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Death, Humor

  12 Copy quote

• The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four

  Fred Allen

  Girl, Home, Maturity

  3 Copy quote

• The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Clever, Church Choir

  52 Copy quote

• Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.

  Fred Allen

  Eye, Brain, Mind

  6 Copy quote

• If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

  Fred Allen

  Uplifting, Cutting, Worry

  Fred Allen (2016). “Treadmill to Oblivion”, p.121, Pickle Partners Publishing

  9 Copy quote

• I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

  Fred Allen

  Graduation, Education, Laughter

  67 Copy quote

• What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

  Fred Allen

  Inspirational, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  81 Copy quote

• An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Income

  8 Copy quote

• Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Technology

  5 Copy quote

• A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

  Fred Allen

  Skins, Stories, Humans

  7 Copy quote

• Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

  Fred Allen

  Food, Cooking, Littles

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.200, Wildside Press LLC

  10 Copy quote

• If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Race

  6 Copy quote

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