Groucho Marx Quotes

Quotes about:

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Groucho Marx

Art, Freedom, Political Will

246 Copy quote
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Life, Witty

48 Copy quote
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

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Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.

Groucho Marx

Fall, Brain, Open Minded

90 Copy quote
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Witty, Crazy

"Fictional character: Rufus T. Firefly". "Duck Soup", www.imdb.com. 1933.

118 Copy quote
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Groucho Marx

Inspirational, Funny, Life

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

129 Copy quote
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

Groucho Marx

Animal, Vegetarian

117 Copy quote
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

Inspirational, Happiness, Happy

536 Copy quote
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Groucho Marx

Design, Fool, Impossible

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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Life, Fake People

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

88 Copy quote
If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.

Groucho Marx

Fun, Having Fun, Ifs

32 Copy quote
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Witty, Fear

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I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Groucho Marx

Death, Funny Life, Forever

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What have future generations ever done for us?

Groucho Marx

Generations, Done, Future Generation

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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.

Groucho Marx

Two, Needs, Plans

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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

Groucho Marx

Funny, Friendship, Witty

77 Copy quote
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Witty, Humorous

34 Copy quote
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Friendship, Education

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

146 Copy quote
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

Groucho Marx

Inspirational, Morning, Feel Better

46 Copy quote
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx

Funny, Life, Sarcastic

In Leo Rosten People I have Loved, Known or Admired (1970) "Groucho"

88 Copy quote
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Groucho Marx

Money, Misery, Form

105 Copy quote
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.

Groucho Marx

God, Art, Stupidity

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My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

Groucho Marx

Brother, Inspiration, Thinking

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Budget: a way of going broke methodically

Groucho Marx

Inspiration, Way, Broke

40 Copy quote
In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

Groucho Marx

Wisdom, Clever, Men

15 Copy quote

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Groucho Marx

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Born: October 2, 1890
Died: August 19, 1977
Occupation: Comedian
Cite this Page: Citation

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