Groucho Marx Quotes

Quotes about:

• 

  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  120 Copy quote
• 

  Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.

  Groucho Marx

  Fall, Brain, Open Minded

  49 Copy quote
• 

  I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Happiness, Happy

  459 Copy quote
• 

  If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  282 Copy quote

• I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

  Groucho Marx

  Animal, Vegetarian

  79 Copy quote

• The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Fake People

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  60 Copy quote

• [He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Crazy

  "Fictional character: Rufus T. Firefly". "Duck Soup", www.imdb.com. 1933.

  72 Copy quote

• There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.

  Groucho Marx

  Two, Needs, Plans

  62 Copy quote
• 

  Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  94 Copy quote

• Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Friendship, Education

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  93 Copy quote

• Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Life

  79 Copy quote

• While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

  Groucho Marx

  Money, Misery, Form

  66 Copy quote

• I intend to live forever, or die trying.

  Groucho Marx

  Death, Funny Life, Forever

  31 Copy quote

• If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.

  Groucho Marx

  Fun, Having Fun, Ifs

  5 Copy quote

• I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Fear

  48 Copy quote

• Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Dog, Fun

  6 Copy quote

• When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Friendship, Witty

  35 Copy quote

• Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.

  Groucho Marx

  Wisdom, Rose

  7 Copy quote

• My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

  Groucho Marx

  Brother, Inspiration, Thinking

  53 Copy quote

• This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2017). “Groucho and Me”, p.238, Pickle Partners Publishing

  25 Copy quote

• Budget: a way of going broke methodically

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Way, Broke

  30 Copy quote

• Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Morning, Feel Better

  16 Copy quote

• A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Cat

  136 Copy quote

• I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.

  Groucho Marx

  Sex, Persons

  13 Copy quote

• I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  24 Copy quote

Page 1 of 13

← Prev

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin