Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Crazy

  22 Copy quote

• Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Art

  "Fictional character: Captain Jeffrey Spaulding". "Animal Crackers", www.imdb.com. 1930.

  78 Copy quote

• This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2017). “Groucho and Me”, p.238, Pickle Partners Publishing

  47 Copy quote

• I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Cute, Sarcastic

  63 Copy quote

• One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Good Morning, Witty

  42 Copy quote

• Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Girlfriend

  46 Copy quote

• Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

  Groucho Marx

  Speak, Worthwhile, Certain

  67 Copy quote

• Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life And Love, Crazy

  34 Copy quote

• In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

  Groucho Marx

  Wisdom, Clever, Men

  15 Copy quote

• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Birthday, Time

  122 Copy quote

• I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.

  Groucho Marx

  Fun, Disagree

  34 Copy quote

• I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Smile

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  122 Copy quote

• I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Girl, Witty

  36 Copy quote

• I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.

  Groucho Marx

  Sex, Persons

  29 Copy quote

• A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Cat

  186 Copy quote

• Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

  Groucho Marx

  People, House, Watches

  52 Copy quote

• Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.

  Groucho Marx

  Wisdom, Rose

  28 Copy quote

• Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Life

  110 Copy quote

• Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman

  Groucho Marx

  People, Excess, Poverty

  32 Copy quote

• Whatever it is, I'm against it.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Horse Feathers (motion picture) (1932). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone, Bert Kalmar, S. J. Perelman, and Harry Ruby.

  32 Copy quote

• Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  27 Copy quote

• Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

  Groucho Marx

  Birthday, Cute Life, Cells

  23 Copy quote

• Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Dog, Fun

  27 Copy quote

• If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Wisdom, Witty

  9 Copy quote

• Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Marriage, People

  40 Copy quote

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