Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 9

Quotes about:

• Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

  Groucho Marx

  Country, Crackers, Animal Crackers

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  23 Copy quote

• If you were a man, you'd go into business
  for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a
  canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if
  that's your idea of a good time.

  Groucho Marx

  Men, Ideas, Years

  10 Copy quote

• [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  7 Copy quote

• I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Pills, Wedding Day

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  14 Copy quote

• If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

  Groucho Marx

  Apples, Doe, Sauce

  23 Copy quote

• This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Reading, Book

  Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.5, Da Capo Press

  6 Copy quote

• Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

  Groucho Marx

  Drinking, Beer, Dancing

  "Fictional character: Otis B. Driftwood". "A Night at the Opera", 1935.

  9 Copy quote

• I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Censored line, You Bet Your Life (radio and television program) (1947 - 1961).

  13 Copy quote

• You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  9 Copy quote

• How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?

  Groucho Marx

  Shooting, Want, Gallery

  "Fictional character: Wagstaff". "Horse Feathers", 1932.

  12 Copy quote

• Only if the computers really love each other.

  Groucho Marx

  Being Single, Computer, Love Each Other

  8 Copy quote

• Room service? Send up a larger room.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Crazy

  Room Service (motion picture) (1938). Screenplay by Morrie Ryskind.

  86 Copy quote

• I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

  Groucho Marx

  Monday, Humorous, Inspiration

  9 Copy quote

• Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Florida, Years

  The Cocoanuts (motion picture) (1929). Screenplay by George S. Kaufman.

  8 Copy quote

• Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.

  Groucho Marx

  Beautiful, Lying, Thinking

  5 Copy quote

• When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Kissing, Wife

  7 Copy quote

• Hello, I must be going.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Hello

  Animal Crackers (motion picture) (1930). Screenplay by George S. Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind.

  9 Copy quote

• It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Cousin

  10 Copy quote

• Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Death, Watches

  A Day at the Races (motion picture) (1937). Screenplay by Robert Pirosh, George Seaton, and George Oppenheimer.

  16 Copy quote

• My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Mothers Day

  12 Copy quote

• A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Women

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  17 Copy quote

• Home is where you hang your head.

  Groucho Marx

  Home, Architecture, Sweet Home

  Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.40, Da Capo Press

  13 Copy quote

• Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

  Groucho Marx

  Book, Inspiration, Healthy

  7 Copy quote

• My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  9 Copy quote

• Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Boys, Hollywood

  6 Copy quote

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