That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - Or any other reason why.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
The obvious issue is providing clean drinking water and sanitation to every single human being on earth at the cost of little more than one year of the Kyoto treaty.
To me, being grown-up meant smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails, and dressing up in high heels and glamourous outfits.
To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead.
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
I'll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They're too much fun.
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
But I'm not a saint yet. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm homosexual. I'm a genius.
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
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