Funny Beer Quotes

• Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.

  Thomas Jefferson

  Cheer, Drinking, Beer

  20 Copy quote

• Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

  Ray Bradbury

  Drinking, Beer, Intellectual

  Ray Bradbury (1955). “THE OCTOBER COUNTRY”

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

  Martin Luther

  Funny, Drinking, Sleep

  1243 Copy quote
• 

  You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

  Dean Martin

  Clever, Lying, Humorous

  In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

  210 Copy quote

  Show source

• Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

  Drew Carey

  Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs

  46 Copy quote

• I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

  Miguel de Cervantes

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1822). “The achievements of the ingenious gentleman, don Quixote de la Mancha. A tr. based on that of P.A. Motteux, with the memoir and notes of J.G. Lockhart”, p.258

  21 Copy quote

  Show source

• You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

  Celia Rivenbark

  Morning, Drinking, Beer

  Celia Rivenbark (2009). “You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning”, p.6, Macmillan

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Drinking, Food

  Benjamin Franklin (2008). “The Autobiography and Other Writings”, p.347, Bantam Classics

  15 Copy quote

  Show source

• No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.

  John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough

  Drinking, Book, Fighting

  18 Copy quote

• There is no strong beer, just weak men

  Dan Castellaneta

  Strong, Beer, Men

  7 Copy quote

• He that drinks fast, pays slow.
  Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
  There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  14 Copy quote

• There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  14 Copy quote
• 

  Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

  Frank Sinatra

  Love, Bible, Sarcastic

  175 Copy quote

• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Weed, Hate, Drinking

  FaceBook post by Hunter S. Thompson from Jul 15, 2014

  77 Copy quote

  Show source

• One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

  James Thurber

  Drinking, Beer, Two

  31 Copy quote

• Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

  Mark Twain

  Drinking, Alcohol, Too Much

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

  12 Copy quote

  Show source

• Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!

  Louis Untermeyer

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  Louis Untermeyer (1930). “Blue Rhine, Black Forest: A Hand- & Day-book”

  50 Copy quote

  Show source

• Beer ... a high and mighty liquor.

  Julius Caesar

  Funny, Beer, Liquor

  35 Copy quote

• A little bit of beer is divine medicine.

  Paracelsus

  Beer, Medicine, Littles

  18 Copy quote

• When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

  Francois Rabelais

  Drinking, Beer, Thinking

  22 Copy quote

• Good people drink good beer.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Life, Drinking, Beer

  24 Copy quote

• Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  Edgar Allan Poe (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated)”, p.229, Delphi Classics

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!

  Dean Martin

  Drinking, Beer, Hands

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  96 Copy quote

  Show source

• Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.

  Hugh Hood

  Beautiful, Drinking, Beer

  44 Copy quote

• An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.

  Confucius

  Philosophical, Beer, Government

  86 Copy quote