Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Let no man thirst for good beer.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
Beer is made by men, wine by God.
In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer - the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
They who drink beer will think beer.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
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