Funny Beer Quotes

• Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.

  Thomas Jefferson

  Cheer, Drinking, Beer

  23 Copy quote

• The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Religious, Atheist

  George Bernard Shaw (1993). “The Complete Prefaces: 1914-1929”, Viking Adult

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• Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

  Martin Luther

  Funny, Drinking, Sleep

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• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

  Dave Barry

  Book, Drinking, Beer

  Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.112, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

  Dave Moulton

  Drinking, Beer, Drunk

  9 Copy quote

• In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer - the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power.

  A. J. P. Taylor

  Beer, Men, Power

  8 Copy quote

• Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

  Wilhelm II

  Funny, Kings, Women

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• Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Drinking, Dirty, Food

  18 Copy quote

• I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.

  Sid Vicious

  Love, Beer, Mirrors

  60 Copy quote

• I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Inspirational, Wisdom, Truth

  Abraham Lincoln (1999). “The Wit & Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln: A Treasury of Quotations, Anecdotes, and Observations”, Gramercy

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• Beer is made by men, wine by God.

  Martin Luther

  Drinking, Wine, Beer

  14 Copy quote

• Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

  Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Inspirational, Baby, Motivational Sports

  "Pumping Iron". Documentary, www.imdb.com. 1977.

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• Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment

  Benjamin Rush

  Humorous, Beer, Liquor

  22 Copy quote

• I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Funny, Drinking, Humor

  22 Copy quote

• The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

  William Butler Yeats

  Drinking, Food, Humor

  32 Copy quote

• I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

  Brendan Behan

  Summer, Beer, Winter

  "Brendan Behan Dies in Dublin", www.nytimes.com. March 21, 1964.

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• Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Wife

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  An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

  Dylan Thomas

  Funny, Drinking, Food

  Dictionary of 20th Century Quotations quoted by Nigel Rees. Fontana London (1987)

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• What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

  W. Clement Stone

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  59 Copy quote

• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Work

  Quoted in Frank Harris, Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions (1916)

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• Let no man thirst for good beer.

  Samuel Adams

  Beer, Men, Brewing

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• Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Football, Country

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

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• Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

  Dan Castellaneta

  Beer, Alcohol, Pubs

  "Fictional character: Homer Simpson". TV Series "The Simpsons" ("Homer's Odyssey", 1990), www.imdb.com. (1989 - ).

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• A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Drinking, Book

  104 Copy quote