Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they are open.
Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
Comedy is acting out optimism.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable.
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
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