Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.
I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
Wit is educated insolence.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
One parody is worth a thousand polemics.
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
The status quo sucks.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year." "Why?" Isabelle said. "So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.
Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.
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