I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Love is a misunderstanding between two fools.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
Love loves to love love.
I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty.
Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
True friends stab you in the front.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one; Yet the light of the bright world dies, With the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one; Yet the light of a whole life dies, When love is done.
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