Funny Love Quotes

• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  249 Copy quote

• If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

  Aristotle Onassis

  Witty, Money, Women

  Quoted in Barbara Rowes, The Book of Quotes (1979)

  148 Copy quote

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• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

  Milton Berle

  Love, Marriage, Husband

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  59 Copy quote

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• Love loves to love love.

  James Joyce

  Love, Life, Short Love

  Ulysses (1922)

  70 Copy quote

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• Love is a misunderstanding between two fools.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Dream, Two

  55 Copy quote
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  If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

  Bette Midler

  Love, Funny, Hilarious

  Twitter post from Mar 27, 2014

  88 Copy quote

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• You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

  Dr. Seuss

  Love, Life, Relationship

  576 Copy quote

• Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.

  David Levithan

  Funny Life, Elevators, Stairs

  Rachel Cohn, David Levithan (2014). “Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List”, p.124, Egmont UK

  65 Copy quote

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• My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Love You, Dark, Romantic Love

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  29 Copy quote

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• Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Hilarious

  Oscar Wilde (2013). “The Canterville Ghost and Other Stories”, p.75, eBookIt.com

  102 Copy quote

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• True friends stab you in the front.

  Oscar Wilde

  Best Friend, Friendship, Im Sorry

  65 Copy quote

• You can't blame gravity for falling in love.

  Albert Einstein

  Love, Fall, Blame Someone

  150 Copy quote

• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

  95 Copy quote

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  Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

  Joan Crawford

  Love, Heartbreak, Dream

  Interview in "Hollywood Reporter", 1954.

  115 Copy quote

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• I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you

  Roy Croft

  Love, Friendship, Positive

  "Fictional character: Liberace". "Behind the Candelabra", www.imdb.com. 2013.

  1308 Copy quote

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• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  Sacha Guitry

  Inspirational, Funny, Marriage

  "Book of Humorous Quotations" edited by Connie Robertson, (p. 83), 1998.

  73 Copy quote

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• Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, Birthday, Anniversary

  110 Copy quote

• Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.

  Fulton J. Sheen

  Love, Recovery, Self

  Fulton J. Sheen (2003). “Fulton Sheen's Wartime Prayer Book”, p.73, Sophia Institute Press

  61 Copy quote

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• Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

  Jackie Mason

  Love, Funny, Inspiring

  297 Copy quote

• In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

  Woody Allen

  Marriage, Best Love, Wife

  18 Copy quote

• A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.

  Adlai E. Stevenson

  Love, Beauty, Reality

  "The Stevenson Wit" edited by Bill Adler, 1965.

  20 Copy quote

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• I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Marriage, Hilarious

  65 Copy quote

• A kiss is a lovely trick to stop speech.

  Ingrid Bergman

  Love, Romantic, Kissing

  68 Copy quote

• Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason

  Mason Cooley

  Friendship, Sex, Funny Relationship

  63 Copy quote

• A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

  Gloria Steinem

  Hilarious, Heartbreak, Powerful

  Attributed

  60 Copy quote

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