Funny Love Quotes - Page 8

• I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

  Mickey Rooney

  Funny, Marriage, Men

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• But even if we take matrimony at its lowest, even if we regard it as no more than a sort of friendship recognised by the police, there must be degrees in the freedom and sympathy realised, and some principle to guide simple folk in their selection.

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Marriage, Police, Lost Friendship

  "Memories, Portraits, Essays and Records".

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• Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, "Look, gas, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy... Get off here, now!" But the man is focusing on the sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 miles," and he thinks, "I can make it."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Commitment, Thinking, Want

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• Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.

  Aphra Behn

  Love, Secret, Pleasure

  1686 The Lover's Watch,'Four o'Clock. General Conversation'.

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• Respectable people do not write music or make love as a career.

  Alexander Borodin

  Writing, Careers, People

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• Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Love, Funny, Girl

  Quoted in Helen Handley, The Lover's Quotation Book (1986)

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• Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

  Bill Cosby

  Love, Relationship, Husband

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• Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

  Joey Adams

  Funny, Marriage, Witty

  Joey Adams (1957). “Cindy and I: The Real Life Adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Joey Adams”

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• I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Thank You, Valentines Day, Clever

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• The world's tragedy is that men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters.

  Joanna Trollope

  Love, Children, Men

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• The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.

  Rumi

  Love, Anniversary, Marriage

  Rumi (2015). “Selected Poems”, p.148, Penguin UK

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• Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Life, Witty

  "Joan Rivers obituary" by Michael Carlson, www.theguardian.com. September 04, 2014.

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• Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

  Natasha Leggero

  Love You, Romantic Love, Love Is

  Twitter post from Nov 17, 2011

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• My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

  Elayne Boosler

  Brother, Love You, Gay

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• I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

  Jack Benny

  Love You, Romantic Love, Meetings

  36 Copy quote

• I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Cute, Boyfriend

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• Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Cute, Marriage, War

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• Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

  Billy Connolly

  Marriage, Wedding, Cycling

  Twitter post from Sep 12, 2011

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• Women love a self-confident bald man.

  Larry David

  Love You, Romantic Love, Men

  "Larry David: The Man Behind Seinfeld". The Laugh Factory Magazine Interview, www.laughfactory.com. April 1994.

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• 

  Love is the magician that pulls him out of his own hat.

  Ben Hecht

  Love, Valentines Day, Men

  "A Child of the Century".

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• People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

  Bob Hope

  Love, Kissing, Lazy People

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Marriage, Mistake, College

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• One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Love, Anniversary, Thank You

  Benjamin Franklin (2008). “The Way to Wealth and Poor Richard's Almanac”, Nayika Publishing

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• My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'

  Bob Monkhouse

  Love, Funny, Mother

  "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

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• What once were two, are one

  George Saunders

  Love, Funny, Two

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