Funny Love Quotes - Page 9

• Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it; let's do it, let's fall in love.

  Cole Porter

  Love, Fall, Bird

  "Let's Do It" (song) (1954). These words were added to the original 1928 song, replacing lines including "Chinks do it, Japs do it" because Porter realized that those lyrics were offensive.

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• The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.

  Charlie Pierce

  Love, Funny, Marriage

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• Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

  George Will

  Marriage, Definitions, Triumph

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• The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

  Groucho Marx

  Marriage, Wedding, Husband

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Love, Anniversary, Thank You

  Benjamin Franklin (2008). “The Way to Wealth and Poor Richard's Almanac”, Nayika Publishing

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• My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'

  Bob Monkhouse

  Love, Funny, Mother

  "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

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• What once were two, are one

  George Saunders

  Love, Funny, Two

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• On the secret to a lasting marrige: One of you has to be sane, and the other one is only allowed to be insanne occasionally. We take turnes on who gets to be wich person

  Christopher Meloni

  Love, Funny, Secret

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• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Family, Marriage, Wedding

  Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1738

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• 

  If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Marriage, Wedding, Sex

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Life, Confidence

  "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

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• I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

  Scott Adams

  Love, Valentines Day, Food

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• Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

  Lynda Barry

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Best Love

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• When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

  Albert Einstein

  Love, Girl, Funny Inspirational

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• When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Girl, Witty

  "News Chronicle" (March 14, 1949), as cited by "The Columbia World of Quotations", 1996.

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• Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Funny, Change

  Albert Einstein (2010). “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein”, p.482, Princeton University Press

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• Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late'

  Oscar Wilde

  Anniversary, Real, Men

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• No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Love, Funny, Leadership

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• I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

  Steve Martin

  Love, Funny, Witty

  FaceBook post by Steve Martin from Sep 22, 2011

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• Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

  Jackie Mason

  Marriage, Cheating, Love You

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Love, Sarcastic, Depressing

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• Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Relationship, Anniversary

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• You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

  Henny Youngman

  I Love You, Marriage, Married

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• Marriage is the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world.

  Malcolm Bradbury

  Love, Sexy, Warfare

  Malcolm Bradbury (1976). “The history man: a novel”, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (HMH)

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• The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Marriage

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