The oil and wine of merry meeting.
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer.
Humor is reason gone mad.
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all.
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
A joke's a very serious thing.
But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right. But I soon figured out that three left turns do.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.
It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of the oncoming train.
Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some sleep, in which case baby's room should be in Peru.
I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?" Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed.
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends