Ambrose Bierce Quotes

• Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gun, Lunch, Democracies Have

  98 Copy quote

• A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Law, People, Claims

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2272, Delphi Classics

  18 Copy quote

• Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Cute, Sad

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  Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Political Will, Greed, Nerd

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.271, ReadHowYouWant.com

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  Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Powerful, Hatred, Tribes

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.128, ReadHowYouWant.com

  39 Copy quote

• An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Deception, Auctions, Election

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• Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sorrow, Accepting, Lost

  "The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce". Book by Ambrose Bierce, 1911.

  8 Copy quote

• God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Past, History, Historian

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• All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Insanity, Philosopher, Delusional

  14 Copy quote

• Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hurt, Believe, Play

  Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi (2000). “The Collected Fables of Ambrose Bierce”, p.15, Ohio State University Press

  25 Copy quote

• War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Peace, Military

  99 Copy quote

• There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Learning, Science, Old Things

  “FBI revisiting Clinton emails just latest in long history of 'October Surprises“ by Chad Pergram, www.foxnews.com. October 29, 2016.

  21 Copy quote

• Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Competition, Conversation, Catching

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• Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Distance, Technology, Devil

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.225, University of Georgia Press

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• Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Enough, Acquaintance

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 12

  15 Copy quote

• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Money, Math

  45 Copy quote

• Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Truth, Common Sense, Utterance

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.90, University of Georgia Press

  23 Copy quote

• The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Dog, Humor

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.13, University of Georgia Press

  102 Copy quote

• Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Political, Wish

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 56

  62 Copy quote

• In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Integrity, Heart

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, University of Georgia Press

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• diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Country, Art

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.47, 谷月社

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• Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Fashion, Powerful, Decision

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.150, ReadHowYouWant.com

  4 Copy quote

• Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hypocrisy, Manners, Etiquette

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.184, University of Georgia Press

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• Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Money, Blessing, Wealth

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.146, 谷月社

  8 Copy quote

• Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Government, Democracy, Boxes

  13 Copy quote

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