Ambrose Bierce Quotes

• God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Past, History, Historian

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• Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gun, Lunch, Democracies Have

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• Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Cute, Sad

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  Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Powerful, Hatred, Tribes

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.128, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Learning, Science, Old Things

  “FBI revisiting Clinton emails just latest in long history of 'October Surprises“ by Chad Pergram, www.foxnews.com. October 29, 2016.

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  Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Political Will, Greed, Nerd

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.271, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Deception, Auctions, Election

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• War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Peace, Military

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• Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hurt, Believe, Play

  Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi (2000). “The Collected Fables of Ambrose Bierce”, p.15, Ohio State University Press

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• A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Law, People, Claims

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2272, Delphi Classics

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• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Money, Math

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• The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Dog, Humor

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.13, University of Georgia Press

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• All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Insanity, Philosopher, Delusional

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• Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Political, Wish

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 56

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• Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Government, Democracy, Boxes

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• MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Cooking, Body

  Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.720, Library of America

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• Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Death, Suicide, Differences

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.111, University of Georgia Press

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• Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Money, Blessing, Wealth

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.146, 谷月社

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• Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Belief, Opinion, Absurdity

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.7, 谷月社

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• Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Graduation, Sports

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.10, University of Georgia Press

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  Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Daughter, Religious, Nature

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.196, University of Georgia Press

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• He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Believe, Thinking, Alacrity

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1216, Delphi Classics

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• Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Ignorance, Knowledge, Small Parts

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• Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Faith, Christian, Spiritual

  Ambrose Bierce (1906). “The Cynic's Word Book”, p.49, Lulu.com

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• A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspiring, Success, Failure

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