Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
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