Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 5

• What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Country, Humorous

  Ambrose Bierce (1968). “The Ambrose Bierce satanic reader: selections from the invective journalism of the great satirist”

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• Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Science, Pockets

  The Devil's Dictionary

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• REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter

  Ambrose Bierce

  Reflection, Views, Yesterday

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.195, University of Georgia Press

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• Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

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• Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Religious, Tolerance, Infidelity

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2697, Delphi Classics

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• Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Atheism, Invisible, Clairvoyant

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.36, University of Georgia Press

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• We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Cheating, Art, Lying

  Ambrose Bierce (1909). “The Shadow on the Dial: And Other Essays”

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• There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Would Be, Telephones, Teach

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• Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Peace, Government, Hands

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 16

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• Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Death, Suicide, Differences

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.111, University of Georgia Press

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• POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, Drinking, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2484, Delphi Classics

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• For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Vocabulary, Names

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.87, Courier Corporation

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• IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Liars, Science, Imagination

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.96, 谷月社

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• Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Success, Perseverance, Congratulations

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.263, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Doubt, Lasts, Frontiers

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• Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Physicians, Literature, Patient

  Ambrose Bierce (2004). “The Devil's Dictionaries: The Best of the Devil's Dictionary and the American Heretic's Dictionary”, p.39, See Sharp Press

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• Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Crazy, Pride, Men

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.50, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Self Esteem, Ego, Appraisal

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• Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Spiritual, Decay

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.126, 谷月社

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• Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Art, Weather, Painting

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2476, Delphi Classics

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• An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Humorous, Profound, Ego

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 86

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• Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Art, Color, White

  Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.618, Library of America

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• Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Running, Party, Government

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.154, 谷月社

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• Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Punishment, Would Be, Amnesty

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.15, University of Georgia Press

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• Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Science, Men

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2387, Delphi Classics

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