Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 8

• Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kindness, Volume, Ten

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.142, University of Georgia Press

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• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Religious, Religion

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.57, 谷月社

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• KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kissing, Understanding, Lexicographer

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.120, 谷月社

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• Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Animal, Purpose

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.70, 谷月社

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• ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Voice, Ears, Singers

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2358, Delphi Classics

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• Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Thinking, Advice

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.276, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Stories, Narrative, Untrue

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.210, 谷月社

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• REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Satisfaction, Made, Felt

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.181, 谷月社

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• MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Important, Existence, Distinguished

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.162, University of Georgia Press

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• UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Faith, Hell, Advantage

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2534, Delphi Classics

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• PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Photography, Art, Work

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.181, University of Georgia Press

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• MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Animal, Men, Thinking

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.161, University of Georgia Press

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• A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Wedding, Two, Ceremony

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.233, 谷月社

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• Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Peace, War, Military

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.202, University of Georgia Press

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• Habit: A shackle for the free.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Nihilism, Habit, Shackles

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.157, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gentleman, Affliction, Body

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.112, University of Georgia Press

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• FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Science, Cooking

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.72, 谷月社

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• Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Photography, Art

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.223, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dumb, Truthful, Illiterate

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.372, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Eye, Sacrifice, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

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• CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Reality, Thinking, Might

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• Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Happiness, Marriage, Wedding

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Best Of Ambrose Bierce: The Damned Thing + An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge + The Devil's Dictionary + Chickamauga (4 Classics in 1 Book)”, p.48, e-artnow

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• LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Nature, Support, Important

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, Courier Corporation

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• Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Independent, Abnormal, Matter

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.3, 谷月社

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• REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dream, Philosophy, Reality

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.177, 谷月社

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