Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 8

• You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!

  Ambrose Bierce

  Years, Leeches, Reptiles

  "The Shadow on The Dial and Other Essays". Book by Ambrose Bierce, www.pub22.net. 1909.

  22 Copy quote

• I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Thinking

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.50, ReadHowYouWant.com

  17 Copy quote

• KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kissing, Understanding, Lexicographer

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.120, 谷月社

  7 Copy quote

• STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Stories, Narrative, Untrue

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.210, 谷月社

  4 Copy quote

• Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Animal, Purpose

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.70, 谷月社

  7 Copy quote

• ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Voice, Ears, Singers

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2358, Delphi Classics

  7 Copy quote

• Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Thinking, Advice

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.276, ReadHowYouWant.com

  13 Copy quote

• REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Satisfaction, Made, Felt

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.181, 谷月社

  5 Copy quote

• UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Faith, Hell, Advantage

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2534, Delphi Classics

  7 Copy quote

• MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Important, Existence, Distinguished

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.162, University of Georgia Press

  7 Copy quote

• PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Photography, Art, Work

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.181, University of Georgia Press

  7 Copy quote

• Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gentleman, Affliction, Body

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.112, University of Georgia Press

  7 Copy quote

• MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Animal, Men, Thinking

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.161, University of Georgia Press

  8 Copy quote

• FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Science, Cooking

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.72, 谷月社

  7 Copy quote

• Habit: A shackle for the free.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Nihilism, Habit, Shackles

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.157, ReadHowYouWant.com

  48 Copy quote

• TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Eye, Sacrifice, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

  7 Copy quote

• CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Reality, Thinking, Might

  7 Copy quote

• Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Photography, Art

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.223, ReadHowYouWant.com

  56 Copy quote

• TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dumb, Truthful, Illiterate

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.372, ReadHowYouWant.com

  4 Copy quote

• OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Jail, Doors

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.154, 谷月社

  8 Copy quote

• Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Happiness, Marriage, Wedding

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Best Of Ambrose Bierce: The Damned Thing + An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge + The Devil's Dictionary + Chickamauga (4 Classics in 1 Book)”, p.48, e-artnow

  8 Copy quote

• Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Independent, Abnormal, Matter

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.3, 谷月社

  9 Copy quote

• One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hypocrite, Doe, Virtue

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.94, 谷月社

  11 Copy quote

• PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Race, Wife, Cain

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2484, Delphi Classics

  6 Copy quote

• Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Enemy, Social

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.136, University of Georgia Press

  5 Copy quote

You May Also Like:

Edgar Allan Poe

Mark Twain

Stephen Crane

Algernon Blackwood

H. P. Lovecraft

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Arthur Machen

Sarah Orne Jewett